Wednesday, October 31, 2012

there is nothing

there is nothing more sexy than a man with a beard wearing a baseball cap driving a mini van with a rusty license plate from indiana

Saturday, October 27, 2012

m y r o o m i n t h e t r e e s b y t h e i n n o c e n c e m i s s i o n

i s
c o m p l e t e l y 
w o n d e r f u l
a l b u m

( a n d
y o u
s h o u l d
l i s t e n
t o
i t
w h e n 
y o u 
g e t 
h o m e .)

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

screaming in starbux

At startbux today a mother with a baby and a four year old little girl hobbled in and found themselves a table. The mother immediately sat down at one chair while four year old little girl helped the baby put a pacifier into her mouth so she would stop crying. How sweet I thought. Even at young ages such as four, girls just seem to be so nurturing. Then a few minutes later out of the corner of my eye I saw the mother put a cloth over her shirt and start breast feeding her little baby....right in the middle of starbux. I mean I guess she had to..the baby was crying..and hungry. What was she going to do instead? Haul her four year old little girl, her infant baby in a baby carrier, her diaper bag, and her coffee all the way back to the car and breast feed and then come back in to starbux to finish her freezing cold coffee? I guess it made the most logical sense to just hunker down and do it right there. However a few minutes after the mother picked up the baby to breast feed, the four year old fell down off the chair and hit her head on the cold hard starbux linoleum floor. The four year old instantly started crying bloody murder and the other one closely followed in suit. Both of her babies were crying, because one was hungry and because one slammed her head on the ground. The mother couldn't pick up the four year old to console her since her other baby was still nursing, so she just sort of sat there. Terrified and exhausted. I There is a woman. That is mom power. Inspiring. Sacrificial. Loving. Wonderful. This is how two babies screaming bloody murder and a frazzled and over worked mother in starbux could look so much like Jesus to me.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

my heart melted

"You are going to be one great nurse. If I get sick, I want you taking care of me."

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Pharmacy School

I'm thinking about Pharmacy school. I'm just thinking about it.

To find out where the Physician's orders mysteriously goes to be "filled" by the man under the curtain
To shine some light into the industry and learn more about pharmacokinetics
To fight for justice and the good of man kind 
To be the brains of the operation and not have to push intelligence into someone else's hands
To know I am trustworthy and dedicated

Pre-Req's left for Pharm program:

Chemistry I
Chemistry II
Organic Chemistry I
Organic Chemistry II
Calculus I
Calculus II

(if still thinking about this when you graduate in DEC 2013, apply to Humboldt and register for SEM I classes for the Spring Semester that started in Jan something..) ...take NCLEX before classes start, get an ED job, start classes

Calculus 1


SEM II (apply to Pharm school during this semester AUG 2014 (age 23) ):
Organic Chemistry
Calculus II

This is a competitive program that likes to accept people with Bachelors degrees already. I'll working as a nurse for 1-2 years in the ED while taking these classes and then apply during the second semester...! And finally I could be paying for everything myself (full time is 12hrs 3X/wk) and be saving money for Pharmacy school.

Other schools to check pre-req's and admission requirements for:
grad at 27/28
and then....Doctors without Borders!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Today I twirled my hair so much that now every time I touch it, I just get sick from how soft it is.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

trying to do healthy things more

read my bible more
pray more
fast often, more
meditate more
floss every night, more
wear my retainers every night, more
be clean more
have a clean room more
do laundry on time more
do homework faster, more
run more
yoga more
eat smaller amounts more
eat meat for adequate B12 levels, for curing anemia, for reducing constant drowsiness, more
smile more
sleep instead of facebook more
relax more
have friends more
make joyful music when writing more
be ok, more
use less, more
reduce consumption of things more
have less in my closet, more
be calm more
have time to create again, more
rejoice in the Lord again, more
i say rejoice, more

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Jonah & The Whale & The Housemates 

Tonight during a study break, I went downstairs to find my housemates learning about Jonah. They are going to teach the story to a bunch of little kids during Sunday school tomorrow morning. It was a great lesson for me to learn. It's a story about the Lord giving and the Lord taking away, and how in the midst of that giving and that taking, we are to be grateful and submissive. I used to have a hardened heart against the word 'submissive'. My mind would just shut down and I couldn't really clearly communicate why beyond the fact it was used against housewives. But here I am now, learning that submission and being adaptive is such a great way to love God. I listened to a sermon in a hot bath tonight, and it was about work, about slaves submitting to their masters. I am willing to be a slave to the only Great one. I am willing to put aside things and people and times so that I may follow through and stay on track with my part in His story, it is my duty.

To the kids in the White Hart complaining of their parents buying them expensive wool socks


Monday, October 1, 2012

I wanted to write a poem

I wanted to write a poem about all the details I gathered in my head about Laurel School today
I wanted to capture the feeling of the staff bathroom
How the door almost hits the toilet when you walk in
How the pale yellow walls looked next to the light brown Seventies Wood
How the tile looked with the grout that had been stained from years being continually dropped on it

How I wanted to take back the feeling I felt
The feeling like I was in a human being zoo
With literal bleats echoing through hallways
Children and adults alike scratching and hitting because they don't understand
Where hypochondriacs and retarded thugs and quiet angry monsters
All join together from five different counties five days a week
And where their guardians thank God for those seven blessed hours

But how precious that smile?
How cute that laugh?
How much I could cry
If I thought what might have happened to them fifty years ago in our great nation.

I got a light warm feeling from all the small desks and wiggly tables
From the calendars with velcro days and laminated birthdays marked
From the season being taped onto the walls and doors
From the stairs that were easy to walk up
From the two secretaries that knew each child by name and walked away from their papers
To give what's-her-name a great hug and another verbal confirmation of her existence.

I got a light innocent feeling from all the wheel chairs and limps
All the misplaced claps and moans
All the butt cracks and all the people holding hands.

We loaded them onto the bus
And I remember being asked what I was going to do when I got home
I remember thinking that what I was going to do when I get home would change in a few years
And I remember thinking that what
She was going to do would be the same thing that
She was going to do for the next twenty-five years